1. Better nickname: MotherChucker or Chuck Basstard?

DANdy: MotherChucker, hands down. Pretty sure Josh Schwartz chose this character’s name just to use that reference at some point.

Mister Meester: I know, I’m lame, but I say tie There simply aren’t enough bad pun-insult hybrids to describe the great Chuck Bass.

Gossip Guy: MutherBasstard. ‘Cause we’re not talking about any bastard (I’m looking at you, offspring of   Bristol Palin), we’re talking about the bastard, Chuck Bass.

2. Did Dan and Serena get back together too quickly?

DANdy: Yes. The most significant story line to close season one was the break up of Derena. There was little doubt Dan was gonna find his way back to Serena eventually - a little manslaughter is nothing compared with those legs! - but at least drag the reconciliation out for a few episodes.

Mister Meester: I thought it was pretty realistic. On one hand, Dan tried his best to embrace the role of man-slut and let Serena go. But then at some point he realized she’s Serena. You simply don’t replace the Serena, not even by two-timing impressionable chicks eager to put out.

Gossip Guy: No. I don’t think my heart could have taken any more seconds of them being apart. Why did they even have to wait until the end of the episode?

3. More uncomfortable place Nate has had intercourse: a bar stool or the passenger seat of a car?

Mister Meester: The car. Given the partner involved, the barroom encounter couldn’t have lasted that long.

Gossip Guy: I’d say the passenger seat because it didn’t involve the incredibly gorgeous Serena. What could be more uncomfortable than that? Now Serena on a bar stool or even on a bed of hot coals sounds perfectly comfortable to me.

DANdy: car seat. It’s a question of width and at least the bar stool allowed Serena to spread her legs out as wide as… sorry, I lost my train of thought.

4. What do you think Vanessa did all summer?

Gossip Guy: Doing exactly as she should, not interfering with Derena. She probably moved on and made more platonic best male friends that she secretly lusted after and tried to interfere with more perfect relationships. But really, as long as it wasn’t our Derena, who cares?

DANdy: Not Dan. Apparently she was the only girl in Manhattan who could make that claim.